Custody question

I am considering divorce from my wife. what is the best course of action. Leave and file for divorce. file for divorce and stay. File for divorce and take the children with me as I leave. We live in Illinois and my major concern is custody of the children not property.


Asked over 8 years ago in Mchenry, Illinois
Categories: Family

Answer Now

Carl Michael Rossi

Answer by Carl Michael Rossi

VerifiedIllinois lawyer


First, of course, I wish you well with what is always a difficult decision.  I commend you for asking questions rather than acting rashly.
I start with your last question.  "File for divorce and take the children with me as I leave"  This is not an option.   The responsibilties and obligations for continuing to care for your children are an important part of the discussions and decisions that you and your wife with have to have and make as part of the divorce process.  
You ask whether it is 'best' that you "Leave and file for divorce" or "file for divorce and stay."  It sounds like you are in this question wondering about property concerns;what will be the impact on settlement if you do a versus b.  There is to fixed answer for that.  It has more to do with how well you and your wife are able to discuss what will happen with the house and other property, again, as part of the divorce process.  And thus, of course, on how much bitterness, resentment, and animosity are present during those discussions. 
  I usually suggest to people that discussing divorce is usually more important than filing for divorce.  In both of these options, you seem that you might be planning to have your wife first hear about your decision to divorce only after you have filed a case in court.  There are other ways that do not 'stoke the fires' in the way that being served with divorce papers can.  
Admittedly I am biased, but I would urge you to look at options that allow you and your wife to have those discussions before having to file for divorce.  I limit my practice to working within tthe Collaborative Practice process.  You can fine more information on my website or feel free to call me.   In any event, I wish you, your wife and your children well in a challenging time.
carl Michael rossi, JD

Posted over 8 years ago

Please note that this is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice to you. Legal advice pertaining to your particular situation can only be provided by a lawyer who has met with you to obtain all pertinent background information necessary to give you a formal legal opinion. For formal legal advice, hire a lawyer (many give a free first consultation). Contact Carl Michael Rossi, or search the Lawyer Directory.

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